Hey Lady Lu...
“Anxiety” is killing me, now there is a lot of stuff that’s killing me or is trying but anxiety most of all, start with that dog I hit Friday. The lesson for today will be Tifa Lockhart though the focus is more looking outside the picture; I want you to stay in the scene but you’re walking in on it.First there’s the fact Luna that I think sooner or later the family is going to show up, their dog is alive and well but they could have my license plate, word of mouth, or those damn meetings, everyone is going to know. Now I’m nobody to talk about keeping a “Secret” I mean I tell you so much and the only reason the enemy hasn’t found this place is because their stupid and they don’t give a damn but let’s pretend that they do I still haven’t told them anything. I know I say this all the time but you know where my fear lives, my worriers, and my anxiety and that is with The Abomination; my car door is broken.
Now look at Tifa, it’s too big I imagine and she can not keep quiet, she cries, she screams, and she cums; her rapist doesn’t give damn, he just keeps pounding into her. This is where I am I think; I’m going on with my evil deeds but I’m becoming oblivious and it’s only a matter of time before that door behind him bursts open. There is no hiding it now Luna, I have my fun while it lasts because how many times have I said this, I will be caught, I will confess, and I will die.
I can’t get that lady’s voice out of my head “you need to slow down” how I wish I could have just told her I’m already dead, my existence is my room, I don’t want to leave it, and if you don’t burn my remains The Abomination will. You know Luna that’s why the guy doesn’t look back, because he has accepted his fate in doing this, I suppose I have yet to accept hitting that dog, I didn’t want do it but I want to do Tifa.
My lovely Luna I don’t smile but everyone else does that’s why they live and I’m going to die, you know what they say about “Smiling Faces” my face tells the truth and do you want to know what the mirror is saying…
Hitting that dog haunts me; there are moments that I can completely forget about it and moments when I seem frozen in place. Every time the phone rings, when I hear a car pull up, when I look outside the window and see those Christmas ribbons fly, and etc, I think they’re coming, they’re here, and I’m dead. I’m scared I’ll never get over this, I hear how people talk about guilt and if I did confess yeah it would go away because I’d be dead and this would all be over.
I need money now, that’s it, there is nothing else, I need money so I can have power and my love how badly I need power right now; desperate times and desperate measures right Luna?
You remember that guy panicking in Quarantine the one that was like gotta get out, we gotta get outta here... well Christmas is coming up so the time to escape is now.
When The Abomination finds out and oh yes Luna he will find out, that’s like saying yes there will be blood and there will be, maybe I’ll get lucky and he’ll finally kill me this time. Every time I hear his voice, when I hear a creak coming from the floor boards, and I can’t even tell you how many close calls I’ve had with him coming downstairs, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve died. Then there is the question of how he’ll find out, chances are he’ll let me dig my own grave, hell he’ll have me crucify myself, a phone call, the front door, my car door, it’s only a matter of time.
Why can’t this be me on top of Tifa huh, if I were to die this would be the way to go, you know how I’m always talking about zombie movies or end of the world type stuff but not like this not because of my Anxiety.
LATE
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