Hey Lady Lu...
My name is Will and yesterday I hit a dog with my car, I’m so very sorry… so what do you think of my Sydney Briar impersonation? I’ll get to the object of today’s lesson in a moment but first what I’m saying and where I’m not.Yesterday Luna at approximately 4:00 PM I hit a dog with my car or he ran into my car judging by the driver’s side door; what am I saying this is my fault. As far as I know the dog is okay but you know what I’m doing now, I just jumped when I heard the mail truck pass by, I’m trying to wait twenty-four hours which means nothing, and I’m waiting like with every other sin, to be burned by it. You can not possibly imagine the guilt I feel or maybe I’m confusing guilt with fear; I deserve the wrath of that dog’s family but you know where my fear lives… such is The Abomination.
Do you remember where I said I was going to be today; I know I told you also that I couldn’t get in but with the events of yesterday The Local Authors Expo almost completely skipped my mind. I don’t think I could do it anyway even if I had gotten in; you’re going to have to excuse me Luna my fears seem to be overwhelming me at the moment. I just heard The Abomination talking to someone about me, it’s only 12:16 PM, and I’m trying desperately not to burst into tears.
Like Sydney Briar my Lady Lu I swear it was just supposed to be a normal day and here I am in a prison of my own making, worrying about a life I almost took, and the existence that any moment now might be taken from me. Where should I go, I don’t think I could go out, at least not with wheels; maybe that’s something I should look up, anyway the point of today is I’m sorry, I’m so very sorry… hey it worked for BP but of course they have power.
Now to the victims of today’s lesson… again we have the lovely Natsume Sisters and we are seeing the aftermath of what has been done to them. I won’t lie to you Luna, every time I masturbate to such filth I feel a sense of shame afterwards and I feel it is right of me to do so yet have I stopped.
Bitches is bitches doesn’t matter the species, did I really just say that; anyway when I see these sisters… the things I want to do with them but that dog I never wanted him or her harmed it just happened. When I’m with these sluts if I do have emotions they lead to pleasure but that dog there was fear, disbelief, some anger but I deserved it and I kept mine in check as it tried to overwhelm my fear and remorse. Anyway the ending result is exactly the same but in the case of the sisters I can feel my nature rising now, with the dog there is only fear, guilt, shame, and remorse and it’s not going away Luna.
You know how I feel about movies like Captivity, Hostel, Saw, Law Abiding Citizen, etc I have always imagined my role as the killer and how I would feel. I expected I would feel love, joy, and ungodly pleasures, when I imagine girls like Maya and Aya that’s what I do feel during our time together, and then the shame but “Then The Morning Comes”. I didn’t kill that dog Luna but if this is how it feels to almost take a life, what about if I did, what if I destroy a life, how many lives did I almost ruin yesterday, as I said bitches is bitches, if I feel so bad about a dog, what about a girl, what about The Abomination, will I feel anything if I finally succeed at taking my own life.
Since yesterday all I’ve been thinking is that nothing I have done matters and what almost happened yesterday would have defined me and that is fear, pain, and misery, I have no taste for my own and maybe I would not have a taste for theirs either. No joy, no pleasure, no nothing there was just me, an accident causing an accident, My Name Is Will And I’m Sorry.
No comments:
Post a Comment