Hey Lady Lu…
I won’t say I understand and so I wonder what it’s like to be locked in a box, are those people thankful; are they thankful to be alive, to see another day, and to live out there lives possibly in such an existence. Today’s lesson again features the slutty Natsume sisters and I ask are they thankful; imagine such horrors, rape, torture, and even The Abomination, are they thankful… am I?When I was in high school I was sent to juvenile hall, now I got out in three days sure but I told you before Luna I never really grew up. I’m still trapped, my parents say leave okay, but then what, me and The Abomination agreeing on anything and that is on thoughts of my death. Honestly I long to die, “Everyday Is Exactly The Same” which of course means worse, and I know that I can’t live the rest of my life this way, how am I supposed to be thankful?
I look at these two beautiful girls in their bikinis and I actually imagine myself being so pure and good once; aren’t we all? Luna I can put the blame on so many and I won’t pretend that I had nothing to do with it but the fucking Abomination, every suicide attempt, ever murderous thought, every corruption, and all the pain he has been the root. Are Maya (black bikini) and Aya (zebra print) thankful, knowing they can never be those innocent girls on the beach again, scary to think that I am thankful that I have become the monster, the freak who wants to do such things to them.
There are moments I am thankful Luna, there are seconds at a time I am glad to be alive, I even try to remind myself to be thankful then I hear The Abomination roaring, my mother bitching and I think damn it all, damn me, now where are my pills? Given the horrors these girls have been through they could get on with their lives, what happened becomes a part of them and The Abomination, Chrissy, and others, have made me what I am and truly I am thankful.
Today of all days I should say what I am thankful for right; I’m just going to live in the moment alright and say what comes to mind Luna.Let me start by saying I’m thankful for the music “I Like It Rough”, I was just looking at the pictures of Rinoa Heartilly and this was the first thing I thought of, plus I like that somehow it drowns out the voices, at least a little. I’m thankful for beauty and no I’m not talking about the “Man In The Mirror” there is such beauty in the world and though I may never feel it, create it, or even violate it at least I know it’s there. Luna I am thankful I have the opportunity to share such things with the world, okay only you, so tell me what you think?
I can’t stress how thankful I am for porn; if it wasn’t for porn chances are I would be dead, now there’s a thought but I love it so. Since I’ll never know love, even yours Luna I have chosen to indulge in lust and that will have to be good enough.
If I had any I would raise a glass to evil, all but The Abomination’s, everyone else Shusaku, Isaku, the men of SeeD raping Rinoa, the men who raped Maya and Aya, Le Marquis de Sade and so many others, to the darkness that inhabits us all. Luna I have not been caught yet, I still have some moves, and I’m still learning so I am thankful for knowledge; they say ignorance is bliss but again knowing something that others don’t will have to do. Finally I am thankful to you Luna and to Braxton, at this point you’re my only two friends and the both of you don’t really like me much; I had an idea for a song but “It Doesn’t Matter”
I’m not thankful for life because I have never had one and chances are… whatever, Thanks For Nothing… But The Truth.
LATE
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