Entry 073 ~Devoid Of Core~

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Hey Lady Lu…

I know right, a hell of a name, actually it just sounded good at the time; as for now I have no center, no plans, and no expo. When you have no center you are just waiting for something to push you in, wreck you, and throw you away like so much garbage; the story of my life.

Now I know you’re asking about the expo… there was no room for me, I was too late, maybe at the end of the day I was just too scared but the fact is I’m not going. Dare I hope there might be a place for me the day of the expo, too much to risk on a maybe so I’m not going, better to do what I’m best at… nothing. Like I told you before Luna I shouldn’t even be going anyway; this should have been settled in February but of course no one gives a shit and it’s still all my fault.

Like a fool all I’m doing now is piling on top of my cracking shell, you should read my latest poetry, I expect to be done on time but it’s all garbage. I was thinking I’ll buy what books I can so when The Abomination does cave my head in, I’ll have something soft to land on. Every second I get new ideas that end up being nothing but more shit, like talking to you Luna… I’m sorry.

There’s nothing Luna, just nothing, no heart, no mind, and no soul just the constant burning; such is Hell. How badly I wish I could say I am “Still Unbroken” but the scars are bleeding again and as always it is only a matter of time.

Okay Lady Lu, I’m going to tell you this analogy for the movie “The Core” I got from “General Hospital”; I don’t really feel like talking and I want to make sure I never forget.

Carly is the first bomb; she has all the intelligence on Brenda and she will trigger all the corresponding bombs in order to get the core Brenda moving again. Lulu will be second being that Brenda slept with her lover Dante and of course Dante lied, Carly doesn’t care for Lulu but the damage that will result will hurt Brenda. Samantha will be next seeing as how her lover Jason has become Brenda’s champion, her jealously is growing. Maxie is already willing to take Brenda out for her Jackal not that she wants him back but his devotion should be for her alone, or so she thinks. Then there is Claire, if Brenda had never returned Sonny would be with her instead of waiting for Brenda.

These women along with corresponding characters will hit Brenda hard thus restarting the core and once the core is restarted Brenda will spin out of control. If Carly’s plan comes to fruition she will at least in her mind being saving the world but creating a void when Brenda leaves. Carly will then take her place as the new core and the world will return to normal; well Luna they will have a core unlike me.

I know this sucks Luna and it gets worse, my existence, my ideas, and do you know I even forgot one of the girls with the “Casual Romance Club” the center doesn’t hold, I’m devoid of core.

LATE